I guess I've always needed the control in my life. Not over others, but over myself, and my own emotions. I fell in love and gave away that control. Giving that power to someone was the highest form of expressing love I could offer. For me it was everything: mental and emotional vulnerability was my strength. Every wall that took me years to build, was shattered the day I fell in love with her. Every... single... one of them. The walls surrounding me protected me, I was strong because nothing could get in and break me down. I let her come in, and break me down. Before her, I was not the person you'd mess with. I was always kind, but I was known for writing people off and "throwing them away". If I was treated poorly, I got revenge and left. With her? My mind completely changed. I had the highest tolerance for anything she did or said. Before, if someone broke a promise to me - all trust was lost. With this girl, any promise she broke - I saw past, and almost ignored. "I love her, it's okay". I constantly said that when asked why I put up with the little constant things she did.
I guess I went too extreme with it (no surprise there) I was true to my personality, and did a 180 degree change, from very distant and detached to such a weak, needy type of person. That's not me. I have always been my own person, strong in who I was and motivated towards my goals. I'm back to myself. I am me, and yet I still love her just the same. Everything is easing up and my heads above water. I can finally relax. Thank god.
